#LAZARUS re-release info. #ATFU
I’m getting this album together for re-release. ‘Lazarus’ is the first ‘solo’ album I crafted and released. Named one of the ‘Best Indiana Albums of 2011’ (Indianapolis Star), I look forward to getting it back online and in your ears.
It was available on iTunes upon initial release; the re-release will be on my Bandcamp page. During the first week of re-release, it will be available as a free download.
The re-release will include 4 bonus tracks; a demo of the band version of ‘Liars (And The Hate They Create)’ , a ‘Tinkerer’ type cover of Marvin Gaye’s ‘I Want You’, a remixed version of ‘Lifetime’, and ‘Goldie’s Lament’ (originally released as part of ‘5ive On The Black Hand Side’). It will also include the full artwork by Jason Ratliff.
I love this album, but it’s very hard for me to listen to. It details a very difficult period in my life that I refer to as ‘The Cruel Years’. I was dealing with a lotta self-doubt, self-hate, outside hate, and loss. It was legitimately the worst period of my life. I had nothing to go to but the music.
Looking back, everything about this album represents discovery and change to me; I changed my lyrical approach from Mudkids to this album because I needed to.
This is the first official project that appeared under the name ‘Rusty Redenbacher’. This album was MINE (and SP’s, obviously), I was gonna start saying what I had to say, what was unheard while I was smiling in people’s faces and trying to keep from killing myself.
I realized around the time I started this album that looking on the bright side is bullshit when people around are determined to keep you blind. You can’t look on the bright side when someone is poking you in the eye every chance they get. Eventually, you’ll just close your eyes and beg for it to stop. If it doesn’t stop, you’d better open your eyes and look for the quickest exit…or fight back.
This is an album full of things I never said before it was recorded, things I needed to say, issues I needed to deal with…YESTERDAY. The only way I knew to deal with it was by living the life I knew how to live. I’m an ARTIST…my life STAYS in my art. I think a big part of the problems I was having was that I couldn’t put my life into my art because I didn’t wanna make a buncha records that reflected how fucked up my life was. If you knew it or not, I did and I didn’t wanna have that in my discography, my legacy.
…but it was so damn real.
I had to stop being scared of expressing these feelings in my art, my music, my LIFE. I had to stop biting my tongue because I was about to bite it off. I had to face the facts that I have/had issues. I faced my issues. I face my issues every day. I pray for strength, I talk to my family and friends, I talk to God, and if I need it again, I will talk to a professional. I do these things because I value myself so much more now than I did then.
Through all this, I made it. I swore I was ready to die and I made it. Everything was yanked from me and I rebuilt everything. I’m still building. After I bled this album out, I became a better artist. I became legitimately free in my mind after being chained up there for so very long.
Artist or not, if you got something to say, you gotta say it. What you don’t say sometimes speaks volumes, so if there is something attacking your mind, get it outta there with VOLUME.
Speak up. It feels great.
LAZARUS is RISEN.
(P.S. - Click the pic to see the video for ‘Bleeding’)