“How Do You Make Friends…?”
Years ago, a friend asked me, “How do you make friends?”, which I thought was a ridiculous question, especially seeing as how we were friends. I didn’t have an answer then, because it’s just part of LIFE as I see it, but I have one now; You hafta give a damn about others more than yourself every now and then. (…and that’s why they ain’t got no friends…)
What I shoulda said was:
“If you don’t know how to make friends and I’ve been here all this time, what does that make me..?”
It seemed like the most ridiculous question in the world, but thinking back, it made perfect sense…it’s been stuck in my mind since it was uttered because I legit thought it was a joke, but they were serious.
One of those things that you hear and go, “I’m standing right here, yo.” SMH. Someone asked me how to make friends…as an adult…this is not something that someone asked me when I was a kid. That is a five-year-old type o’ question, man. I may not have all my shit together, but I know how to treat people well enough to make them wanna continue interacting with me.
I guess the ‘grown-up’ answer would be;
“I know how to express myself clearly enough to make it so like-minded people wanna have conversations with me. I know how to look out for my friends on some kinda level if they need something from me because IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME. This is why I have friends. Good Lord, what you put into the world is what you get outta it…HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THAT? This is why I have a lotta friends. I treat people well. I AM concerned for them. I speak to those who speak to me and I judge people by their character, not their outfits or income. Try that.”
This ain’t about being socially awkward…I get in situations all the time where I feel like the biggest dork in the room…and I ain’t no damn ‘friend collector’. It’s about giving a damn about others more than yourself and doing what you can when you can.
When you have lived your life a certain way for so long, it’s just a part of you, good or bad. It’s character and selfishness is a character flaw. Selfish people have no idea how to make friends because they don’t value others past what they can get from them or outta them. Then when they do make friends, their selfishness will undoubtedly drive them away sooner or later. It always happens.
It is the most illuminating, ridiculous question anyone has ever asked me and I’ll never forget it.
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